Give feedback effectively and get results
Being a leader involves giving feedback, both positive and negative. The overall purpose of sharing feedback is to help your employee succeed. Do it poorly, and you won’t get anywhere. Plus, you will damage the relationship with your employee. Do it well, and you can build a relationship with that same employee and strengthen their trust in you and your company. Good leaders give all feedback well. Great leaders inspire and empower their employees to do their best work going forward - even if the feedback was generally, or even completely, negative.
So, how can giving negative feedback be inspiring and empowering? It might sound daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. Though working with leaders and HR professionals, there are four key areas to consider to ensure that the feedback you deliver is likely to have the impact you desire: Mindset. Planning. Communication. Follow Up.
Mindset
There has yet to exist a leader - HR or not - who isn’t busy every minute of every day. There might be a fire to put out here, an upset client there, and then there is that employee (or multiple employee) issue that must be addressed sooner, rather than later.
To give feedback intended to change behavior and make the situation better, your mind can’t be focused on prepping for the big pitch later that afternoon or an important client meeting tomorrow. You must be present and give the session your full attention. A simple tactic that works wonders - giving yourself an extra 15 minutes before you give the feedback to shift your attention to fully focus on giving the feedback. Then, take another 15 minutes after delivering the feedback to write a few notes, decompress, and refresh your mind before tackling the next challenge.
Prior to the feedback session, put yourself in your employee’s shoes and think about how they are going to react. Consider how you would want to receive the feedback that you are about to give (even if there’s no possible way someone would ever give you that type of feedback).
Taking the other person’s feelings and background into account, will help you develop a message that will be seen more as helpful versus disciplinary.
Planning
Unless it’s given in the moment, such as a compliment for a presentation well done in the car on your way back from a client pitch, you shouldn’t be speaking off the cuff when giving feedback. This doesn’t mean that the entire conversation should be scripted. Rather, you should develop an outline for the key points that you want to make, and have thought through - and ideally written down in your notes - ways to address different possible ways your employee might respond.
Timing is also important to consider. You’ve probably heard the saying that you should never fire someone on a Friday whenever possible. There are good reasons for that. Choosing another day, like Thursday, gives the person being fired time (in this instance) at least one “working day” to start their job search or reach out to contacts. It also gives the rest of your employees the opportunity to reach out to you or HR to discuss their feelings or ask any questions they have about the situation.
There is another often forgotten aspect to timing - the actual time when you give the feedback. Ideally you want to deliver your feedback at a time where you can be at your best, and hopefully your employee will also be most receptive to hearing it. In talking with a variety of leaders, this is often in the morning. Not first thing - unless you’re both early birds, but typically mid-morning, rather than at the end of a long and potentially stressful day.
You might think timing wouldn’t matter as much if the feedback is positive, but having a positive discussion in the morning could also give both you and your employee a boost that carries through the end of that day and into the next.
Communication
How you say something is just as important as what you are saying. Words matter. As part of your preparation, you should consider how you want to phrase the message you will deliver. For example, what is your intent and what do you hope the outcome will be from this conversation.
Keep in mind, your employee likely won’t interpret your message exactly as you intend. That’s OK. We’re all products of our own personal experiences. Sharie Flores, President and Founder of Momentum Talent Strategies, agrees. “Speak with empathy and make sure that your employee knows this moment is about their success, not yours.” By keeping in mind three things when crafting your message - context, clarity and tone, you’ll give yourself the best chance of connecting with your employee and achieving your desired result (at least when it comes to delivering feedback).
When it comes to structuring your feedback, you want to make sure that it’s both meaningful, relevant, and actionable. Sharie recommends not following the typical “sandwich” method of one great thing, one bad thing, another good thing. In her opinion, it’s too simple for the complex emotions that your employee will likely be feeling. Instead, stay focused.
“When possible, you should be specific,” says Sharie. “Ensure you can articulate why the employee’s behavior is unacceptable and give undeniable examples.” Referencing a particular situation, tying feedback directly to a known or documented goal or metric, or even tying the feedback to something the employee hopes to accomplish personally or professionally are a few examples.
Also, stay away from feedback on behaviors that do not matter when it comes to achieving business goals. “For example,” continues Sharie, “an employee may have the tendency to leave their chair out instead of tucking it in before they leave. Assuming it is not an actual safety hazard, you should focus on the behaviors that are vital to their success in their role, not a personal pet peeve.”
Follow Up
Your thoughts are always freshest directly after you give feedback and experience - not just hear, but see and even feel - your employee’s reaction. This reinforces the need, mentioned earlier regarding Mindset, to block 15 minutes after the meeting. You can use this time to reflect on how the conversation went, identify key follow-ups on both sides, and define next steps. Part of this reflection should also include setting specific progress checkpoints to measure improvement, and ideally, give additional feedback to foster the change you want to see.
So how do you determine if the behavior has changed?
As a leader, you need to be present every minute of every day, especially when you manage employees. This includes solving overarching business challenges, and ensuring that you’re giving your employees what they need to be successful in their roles. It also means creating an environment that promotes ideal behavior.
Sharie counsels her clients to ensure they “react positively when they see that behavior has changed” to reinforce the new direction, not waiting until the employee’s annual review. Conversely, it’s just as important to address the situation in a timely manner if the employee reverts to old habits. Sharie recommends that this be called out privately to show support in the employee’s journey to improve. This helps to create a strong team that trusts each other and their leadership.
There is no doubt that this can be challenging, especially in a remote or hybrid environment. However, when done correctly, it will help your employees be successful, and you as a leader to strengthen trust within your team.
Let’s be clear. We’re talking about situations where there are remedies for the issues at hand. There are some events that are so egregious that there is really no recourse for improvement, much less inspiration and empowerment. While some of these recommendations still hold true, the outcome may not be positive and that’s ok, even expected.
By following these four key steps: Mindset. Planning. Communication. Follow Up. you’ll move toward the path of becoming a great leader when it comes to giving feedback.
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